“Don’t give up; it’s just the weight of the world.”
I don’t know what it is about music, but it always seems to stir the soul; often times speaking to you at that exact moment when it needs to be heard most. I think for most of us, when we are down — down to the point where your heart begins to literally ache, we began looking for comfort; welcoming any form in which it may come. We began to search on our own accord, when any other time in our lives we would simply just move along with the rest of the world, and disregard the feelings deep inside of us.
But for far too long now, I have found myself utterly lost in feelings of doubt, remorse, and heartache. Some of these I can explain and others I cannot. But I do know, as I was lying awake this morning, that I found myself being spoken the exact words I needed to hear.
It was a cheesy song by an artist that the majority of the world has found inspirational, though I have personally never cared for his particular style in the past. But in that moment, there was nothing that could have conveyed the message any better than what I had heard.
As a people we seek companionship, approval, and love. We seek things that often times we cannot have; and the times when we can and do have them, it seems like half the time we aren’t satisfied with them. It’s not enough — we want more. Once we’ve gotten a taste of the things we seek, we desire to have more. It’s human nature.
For quite some time I have been seeking some things that I had discovered I had lost, and some things I’ve never had. I had no words for the feelings that had begun to surface. It was a strange feeling, and one that I had never truly experienced before – at least not to that degree. It was the feeling of having the weight of the world on my shoulders. The desires of my heart, some that I had already obtained, had become muffled by the screams, cries, and demands of expectations and circumstances that were quite honestly… overwhelming.
Simply put.. I needed to hear “you are loved.” I needed to hear that I wasn’t alone. That things would be okay. That the things I wanted to achieve were possible. That the things that had been lost could be found, and the things that I wanted… were just around the corner. Even when we know we’re loved, we as humans have to hear it. Even when we can see the desires of our hearts, we as humans still have to hear, “there it is, right there, just an arm’s reach away.” The reassurance is a softening of the human spirit, and the love conveyed from it defines us, and brings a certain calm that we wouldn’t find anywhere else. For the past few months I’ve been longing for that exact thing that would remove my feelings of loneliness, of regret, and of hurt. I wanted my feelings explained, because I myself could not explain them.
I didn’t know what I was seeking; because I was bound by a world that demanded my attention and suffocated my hope in the things that made me happy and the desires that my heart longed for. So I had begun to give up on my dreams. I had begun to give up on the hope of any form of a redeeming factor. I had begun to give up on the things that had always brought comfort in the light of disheartening circumstances.
The words were simple, but true. The message short, but clear. I’m paraphrasing, but the integrity of the words and its meaning remains:
When your heart’s heavy, I will lift it for you.
When you want to be heard and the silence keeps you, I will break it for you.
When you want to be understood, I will hear you.
It’s just the hurt that you hide, and when you’re lost inside, I will be there to find you.
And because you want to burn bright and the darkness blinds you, I will shine to guide you.
It’s just the weight of the world, so don’t give up.
You are loved.
Maybe I’m the only one that feels this way… but I doubt it.